The Emotional Impact of Infertility

The urge to procreate is incredibly strong and is hardwired into us, especially into females. So when a woman wants a child and is unable to conceive it is felt as much more than a failure to conceive. This is felt as a failure as a human being.

When you have just bought a new car you suddenly notice all the other cars of the same make on the road.
When you want a baby – all you can see is pregnant women – everyone seems to be pregnant having conceived effortlessly. If another woman’s baby is unplanned and maybe unwanted then that is a further slap in the face to the woman who is dying to have a baby and cannot. She wonders what is wrong with her – if she is being punished for some misdeed. She thinks she is unloved by God and the universe or that she’s been forgotten. She feels sidelined and abandoned.

All this has a terrible effect on the woman’s emotional health. She does not feel complete as a person – as though something vital has been withheld from or denied to her. And her mind dwells on it obsessively. Every family with small children has been blessed and she has not.

Sometimes she feels ashamed of her infertility. In some cultures this is a valid reason for men to punish and divorce their wives. Then this woman is humiliated and excluded because of her infertility.
And all the while – it could have been a problem with the man!

It is well worth while for each couple to be tested to see where exactly the problems lie. As I said in my last blog – get in touch with Foresight and take their help.
Tel: 01243 868001
Email: emailus@foresight-preconception.org.uk

Many women find that they feel just as bad when they want another child as those women without any children at all. The urge to procreate is just as strong and so then they feel guilty and ashamed because they feel that they shouldn’t be making such a fuss when they already have a child.

I have treated many women who are so desperate to become pregnant that their entire life is centred around maximising that possibility. Her partner has to have sex around the time when his wife ovulates whether he feels like it or not. He gets to feel that his only use is as a sperm machine. He feels he has failed because his wife is so unhappy and that he must be less important to her than having a baby. Pretty soon he starts to feel angry and unwanted. And when it comes to lovemaking – he can’t work up any enthusiasm because he knows that the only reason is to produce a baby.

The effect all this has on the partnership is stressful and destructive. The man feels undervalued and the woman feels not understood and inadequately cared for.

Many women find that they feel just as bad when they want another child as those women without any children at all. The urge to procreate is just as strong and so then they feel guilty and ashamed because they feel that they shouldn’t be making such a fuss when they already have a child.

The woman is on an emotional roller coaster. Every month she hopes she will get pregnant and anxiously waits to see if her period is going to come. If it is a little late she is beside herself with hope and anxiety and then when her period finally arrives she sinks into despair.

Of course all this anxiety and negativity sends chemical signals to the body which makes the prospect of conceiving even less likely. The very opposite of the hoped for conception is achieved.

Much can be done with Theta healing to calm the situation. I have treated women who have come to terms with childlessness and who no longer think that a vital part of themselves is missing. I have treated others who have managed to relax and accept whatever happens and who have finally become pregnant. When the heat is off – the relationship has a chance to heal and this sometimes produces a pregnancy.

If you would like to learn more about Theta Healing and how it can help with infertility
Call me on: 07979538378
Email me at: debbie.talalay@gmail.com
Or go to my website to find out how Theta Healing and Homeopathy could help you. www.deborahtalalayhealing.com

Alternatives to IVF

For a number of years I have been a member of a wonderful organisation called Foresight – The Association  for the Promotion of Pre-Conceptual Care.  It provides a non invasive, inexpensive alternative to IVF.

 

I have reproduced an article I wrote on Foresight in 2008.

 

‘Foresight is a charity focused on pre-conceptual care and infertility.

The incidence of infertility is growing at an alarming rate.

The emotional and financial cost both to the people involved and to the health service is very high.

 

Foresight has proved to be immensely successful in its fertility programme and in producing healthy babies. The success rate for conception to the birth of a healthy infant is 78.4%.

 

People referred to Foresight have their hair analysed.

This highlights

  • levels of toxicity including drugs, alcohol and nicotine
  • parasites
  • infections
  • nutrient deficiencies and imbalances
  • allergies

All of which can cause infertility and often have repercussions for the babies eventually conceived. Depending on the results of the analysis, the couple are then referred to a therapist – usually a nutritionist or homoeopath. They are prescribed a course of supplements aimed at rectifying the problems revealed in the hair analysis.

 

Foresight aims to

  • help couples achieve good health so that it becomes possible to conceive
  • help couples to conceive without drugs and invasive procedures
  • ensure that children are not born with entirely avoidable conditions arising from nutrient deficiencies or toxicity of the parent
  • relieve the NHS in the future of the need to provide expensive operations and care for those who are currently being born with these conditions
  • encourage people to have babies who are healthy in both mind and body

 

A healthy society is the product of the individuals in that society. Helping prospective parents to regain good health provides the basis for the health of the next generation and is  reflected in the society that results.

 

This service is available at a fraction of the cost of IVF and other procedures.  I believe it to be effective and very worthwhile.

I would like to see a Foresight centre in each major city which can help couples to conceive and to attain this level of health.

 

Cost comparison of treatments

IVF – £6000                                         Foresight –  £300 – £400

Success Rate

IVF – 21.6 %                                      Foresight – 78.4%

 

When asked about the comparative costs between IVF and alternative methods – an IVF consultant was recently quoted as saying that alternative methods were exploitative. As seen by the figures shown above, this is patently untrue.’

 

I have also found that the mind can play a large part in blocking conception. Fear that the husband does not really want another child. Worry that the child will place an unwanted financial burden on the family. Worry that her life will change dramatically and that she’s not sure she can cope.

 

The anxiety of trying to conceive often acts as a block to conception. The couple – particularly the woman is so overwrought that her body produces a hostile environment for conception. Women trying to conceive used to be placed with infants – just to hold them and cuddle them.  This deceived the body and mind into a state of relaxation and fulfilment and the women frequently became pregnant as a result.

 

So it is important when aiming to conceive to keep the mind in a welcoming receptive state so that the body is given the correct signals and knows that it is the right moment to get started.

 

If you feel that your anxiety and negativity is part of the problem and is adding to the difficulties you may be having trying to conceive – Theta Healing will help you.

Please call me on – 07979538 378 to find out more.

Go to my website www.deborahtalalayhealing.com. I have given an explanation on Theta Healing and how it works.

I am always anxious

I am so stressed and there’s nothing I can do to slow down because so many people are dependent on me.

Life has become so fast. We expect to do things and have things done for us instantly, if not yesterday.  Any delay sends us into a rage. If there is a wait behind a car which is a bit slow off the mark at a traffic light, the horns start blasting away. We have so much packed into each day, that unless everything goes perfectly – which it rarely does – we are unable to fulfil the commitments we have made. We arrive late and flustered – and we have no reserves to deal with the many little unexpected happenings that each day brings.

We’re proud of being able to multitask, and we end up by giving only a tiny part of our attention to whatever we’re doing. A parent pushing a stroller with a young child in it and with a phone clamped to her ear is a familiar sight. The child is ignored or pacified with a dummy or food if it wants attention.

We end up doing a lot – but we lose the ability to be, to communicate and relate to each other.

This is having life by the throat – so there is no room to breathe or to relax. Do it for long enough and everything becomes a burden – something to be done or to get through and it breeds irritability and ANXIETY.

Anxiety that;-

  • I won’t be able to achieve all I’ve set out to do.
  • That I’ll let people down and that they will be angry or annoyed with me.
  • That people will think less of me
  • That I will let myself down
  • That I’ll deprive my children and family in some way.
  • That I am not as competent as my friends and acquaintances.

Women are usually the ones running around trying to do what is needed for the family and holding down a job at the same time. The media have promoted the idea of the modern super woman who can grow her own vegetables, bottle and preserve them, make cakes and jam and all before setting out for her day in the executive boardroom.

Even if we like living like that – we can only keep it up for so long before the cracks begin to appear.

The price we pay is in our relationships – both with ourselves and with others.

We have completely failed to nourish ourselves and all we have is a sense of achievement for having done so much.

Nourishing ourselves can happen in different ways and they are all important.

We can start by giving ourselves the time to be with ourselves and with our thoughts. We need the time for the mind to be free of duty and responsibility so that it can float free and come up with ideas or so it can resolve a problem which has been lurking in the background.  We are not machines even if we treat ourselves like one.  We need the time to renew our energy and to clear ourselves from our recent experiences. If we don’t do this we create a backlog for the subconscious mind to deal with when we have the time. So it keeps prompting us to remember this thing and that problem which we have stored until we can sort them out. These constant reminders become anxiety.

Human beings all need to connect. Connection is what gives our lives meaning. What passes for connection is often at the surface as we don’t have the time for the connection to develop and for the energy of that connection to flow. We need to give ourselves the time and space to listen to ourselves and connect with our unconscious mind and to let that take us where it will. What we actually do is to stop any communication with ourselves by living in a constant whirlwind of activity and with a constant background of noise.

We have become estranged from ourselves and disconnected from others.

Anxiety is our warning signal that we are not getting it right and that we need to re-evaluate what we want from our lives and how to go about it. Our anxiety is, in general, not about the circumstances of our lives.  Even when these are difficult – if we feel centred and balanced we can deal with difficult circumstances and take them in our stride.

My belief is that our anxiety is because we won’t take the time to be with ourselves and with others and because we are denying ourselves the fundamental nutrition of connection.

If you would like help in reconnecting with yourself and with others, you may find that Theta Healing will help:

Please call me on – 07979538 378 to find out more.

Go to my website www.deborahtalalayhealing.com. I have given an explanation on Theta Healing and how it works.

Losing Weight

What we lose is what we must try to find again

Saying we are losing weight is really sending the wrong message to the brain. Because what we lose is what we must make every effort to find again. Perhaps that’s why so many of us are on the roller coaster of weight loss followed by instant and rapid weight gain.

Slimming becomes much more difficult as you get older. The metabolism slows down, and all the treats, snacks and alcohol just go straight to the waistline and the hips. If you’ve ever played Monopoly

– do not pass go

– do not collect your £200

Just go straight to the hips!

One of the problems of ageing is that the digestive system has taken a battering over the years. The liver may not be functioning properly and you may have low level diabetes, both of which will make it harder to shed weight. If the body has developed intolerance to certain foods, it won’t know how to deal with this and will just store these foods as fat.

Then there’s the Thyroid gland which is often out of balance or which under reacts the older we get. The Thyroid is responsible for a great many of the functions of our bodies, including the regulation of weight. If the Thyroid is sluggish shedding weight becomes very difficult.

Then there’s the mindset which needs to be tackled before even beginning on any sort of diet.

This includes

  • the compulsion to reward ourselves with food
  • the knowledge that an emotional pain can be temporarily eased by eating sweets, pastries, chocolate.
  • and, of course, the knowledge that drinking alcohol will not only ease the pain – but will make us temporarily forget.

There are also the beliefs of scarcity – that there is not enough and that you have to eat while food is available. When I was growing up, we were all told that we must not waste food and must finish off everything on our plates because of the poor starving children in Biafra or in China. Of course, if we didn’t finish our food the poor starving children would not have benefitted, and what we did was to teach ourselves to overeat.  This way of thinking was drummed into us after WW11 because food had been rationed and many foods were not available. So there was a much greater respect for food and the whole process of growing it and making it available to everyone. As someone who grew up with that – I think it is all wrong the way we waste food, especially as in many parts of the world there is not enough to eat.

My rethink on this is: – rather than finish off a large portion of food instead of wasting it, learn to take smaller portions and take more if still hungry. It’s surprising how much less is needed to satisfy the appetite.

There are so many diets available and they won’t all suit you. So when deciding which one to do – pick one with foods you like and which you think you can keep to. If you hate every minute and think of it as torture and deprivation, you will soon break the diet and probably go on a binge to make up for the disappointment.

But it is pointless to start on any diet if you haven’t prepared.

  • Exercise regularly to increase your metabolic rate and to burn off the excess fat. Once a week is not enough!
  • Cut out the foods you are sensitive or intolerant to. They can often block the process of shedding weight.
  • If you think your body doesn’t react well enough – get your liver, thyroid and sugar levels checked.
  • Take a look at some of your beliefs around eating. If your beliefs are making you put the weight right back on, consider seeing a Theta Healer who will help you to remove them and to install beliefs which will serve you better

If you would like to learn more about Theta Healing and how it can help remove beliefs which don’t serve you:-

Call me on: 07979538378

Email me at: debbie.talalay@gmail.com

Or go to my website to find out how Theta Healing and Homeopathy could help you. www.deborahtalalayhealing.com

Allergies and Sensitivities

In my last article I talked about the allergies and sensitivities so many of us have, and how we are beginning to see more and more people suffering with reactions to various foods.

Allergy is an overused word. I found a definition of allergy which says:

“Properly defined, allergy is the condition which results from the introduction    into the body of certain substances, usually proteins, which cause a disease complex called allergy”

What most people are suffering with is hypersensitivity.

It used to be that if anyone had an allergy it would be to pollen and they – poor souls – would sneeze and weep and scratch their way through the summer suffering with Hay Fever.

You would almost never hear of people with food allergies and intolerances. People were happy to eat pretty well everything that was put in front of them – with the exception of school dinners. And even though they might prefer one food to another – no-one talked about becoming ill from what they ate.

Of course some of this was because allergy went largely undiagnosed – so people suffered without knowing the cause of their suffering.

But lack of diagnosis does not account for the huge increase of people who respond badly to various foods.  My belief is that over the years our immune systems have become severely compromised.

This is partly because our immune systems are being challenged on a daily basis by the chemicals we use to spray our crops. These chemicals are invaluable in ensuring that pests do not destroy the crops – but were never intended to be taken internally.

We are also choosing to eat foods which are harmful to us in such great quantities that they undermine our whole metabolic process.

During the Second World War, processed foods, sugars and fats were rationed, and people were forced to rely on basic but nutritious foods. Health improved in the UK quite dramatically.

Nowadays our food contains:

  • Pesticides
  • Colourings
  • Other E numbers and additives – which are used as preservatives for longer shelf life.
  • Hormones – used to promote growth in the animal
  • Water injected into the meat to produce greater weight

Our food does not contain the vitamins, minerals and trace elements needed for our maintenance

  • because the soil is barren and over farmed
  • because the food has been processed and the nutrients lost (though sometimes the Vits/ Mins are added back in)
  • the nutrients have been killed by overcooking

It is astonishing that in this country of plenty, so many of us should be suffering from nutrient deficiency.

Nutrient deficiency upsets the whole metabolic process, and then it becomes more difficult to convert the complex substances into simple ones for the use of the body, which uses them to build complex tissues. Foods are not broken down properly in the gut and when the body tries to use them, they cannot be absorbed properly and often have a harmful effect.

The body builds up a resistance to these improperly digested foods and so begins intolerance and then allergy.

A huge industry has built up around allergies.

We are now able to buy foods free from

  • Wheat
  • Gluten
  • Dairy
  • Eggs
  • Nuts

The list goes on.

And while this is important and necessary to the people who suffer with allergies it is worrying that there are enough people who suffer from food intolerance to have created this industry.

Food reactions can affect us in so many ways.

We are familiar with the blocked nose, the constantly runny nose, the streaming eyes, blocked sinuses, permanent catarrh and headaches.

Allergies can also affect the skin, producing spots, rashes and raised wheals

The skin can become hard and dry, the heels cracked.

Allergies can affect breathing and provoke asthma attacks.

People are unable to sleep properly and often their energy is affected. They will become sleepy if they eat something which disagrees. Alternatively, you can see children responding to the colourings and additives in food by becoming wild and hyperactive.

The digestive system will usually react with;

Nausea and vomiting, diarrhoea or constipation.

Bloating, wind and heartburn.

Weight gain – or the inability to thrive and to put on weight.

The most under acknowledged reactions caused by allergies are in the mental and emotional spheres.

The inability to concentrate or think coherently

The change in personality – often making people rude and aggressive.

I remember listening to a talk by a lady who had been in charge of an institute for young offenders. She realised that a lot of these kids were having an extreme reaction to the junk food they were eating. She started to change the food served in this institution. At first – these teenagers were furious that they were no longer allowed the food that they usually ate.  But as they gradually calmed down they realised how different they felt. Eventually – they were entrusted to go on

supervised shopping trips to buy additive free food.  They took an active interest in their shopping expeditions and in their own mental and physical health.

Usually, the numbers of offenders who re-offend after release and get locked up again is very high.  But with these children the number was extremely low.

It made me wonder how many of society’s ills could be attributed to reaction to what we eat.

Take Care of Your Immune System

Modern medicine has eradicated many of the diseases which used to be commonplace,

Anti-biotics and other miracle drugs will usually see off infections and illnesses which would have killed large numbers of people before the discovery of these medicines.

The availability and storage of food has made an enormous difference not only to our life expectancy but also to our height and size. Have you noticed when looking at portraits of the nobility through the centuries how much taller they are than the working classes. The abundance of food, its quality and the ability to store it so that it retains its nutrients and does not deteriorate makes a real difference to your ability to grow.

Clean water and sanitation also play their part.

The graphs show that 6000 deaths per 1 million children from scarlet fever, diphtheria, whooping cough and measles around 1850 had declined to 800 by 1940 – a 90% decline.

It was not until 1950 that the introduction of anti biotics and the compulsory immunisation against diphtheria was introduced. This was followed by immunisations against other diseases and by 1965 deaths from these diseases were reduced to just a handful.

But the achievement of reducing deaths by 90% for these potentially deadly diseases mostly rests with the clean water and sanitation programs which were established before mass immunisation.

So – the question I ask myself is – why with the benefit of all these medicines, with a better diet, with clean water and excellent sanitation – why do we have a population with so many chronic illnesses and who are so dependent on taking large quantities of medicine on a daily basis?

What are we doing to ourselves to cause this level of unwellness?

Maybe I’m wrong – but I believe that the number of people with asthma and eczema – the children going to school with a puffer in their pocket – has risen dramatically.

We’re used to hearing people say they’re allergic to this and that.

Why are there so many people with Hay Fever? And why – given that we have central heating and can keep warm – do we have so many children running around with constant colds and perpetually dripping noses?

40 years ago my cousin, who was taken to specialist after specialist to find out what was wrong with her was finally diagnosed with autism. She had to be taken to the USA to receive this diagnosis because no one in the UK had ever heard of it. Nowadays, autism and its lesser brother Asperger’s Syndrome is common place.

In the old days, the diseases either killed you or you survived.

Sometimes you survived with the consequences of the disease – perhaps a shortened limb – if you’d had polio or a pockmarked skin from smallpox.

But though we may live longer than our grandfathers and great grandfathers, and though we may survive the illnesses which used to kill or maim us, we seem to have lost the robustness and the strength and stamina of previous generations.

The system which has deteriorated is the Immune System.

Our immune systems are subjected to a constant barrage of stressors.

The air that we breathe carries pollutants from road traffic. If we live under a flight path there will be pollutants from the airplanes and a higher incidence of asthma.

The water we drink is cleaned but carries the hormones excreted by women on HRT and the pill.

Water also has chlorine and fluoride added to it – and despite their positive effects there is a large downside to constantly taking in these chemicals. So if we wish to avoid chlorine and fluoride we purify our water. But most of the water filters extract the minerals from the water so you end up with a deficiency in minerals. This in itself is responsible for a decline in the immune system resulting eventually in disease.

Our food, which is plentiful in this country, is grown in soil depleted of its mineral content. The 5 fruit or veg a day regime which is meant to keep us healthy is sadly outdated – again resulting in vitamin and mineral deficiency. Our crops are heavily sprayed with pesticides which our bodies are not designed to deal with – another big stressor to the immune system. Organically grown food is a better alternative – especially for the root vegetables as the roots store the pesticides.

This is a very big subject and this is not the place to do an in depth article.

But here are some of the things you can do to strengthen your immune system.

  • Take a good quality supplement. I take a brand which has all the vitamins and minerals including the trace minerals. The body uses what it needs and excretes the surplus. Find a good brand which is easily absorbed by the body. Some brands are not as good as others, so go to an independent health food store where they stock the better brands and they will be able to advise you. Make sure this supplement contains enough Zinc. You should be getting 15mgs a day including what is in your food – 20mgs per day if you are pregnant or nursing.
  • Ensure you are having enough Essential Fatty Acids. These are the Omega 3’s and 6’s. You need both together to metabolise properly. The 6’s can become depleted if just taking the 3’s.  You can buy the EFA’s in oil and capsule form. If taking capsules – ensure you are getting enough.
  • Drink good quality water. Make sure you get enough of it – around 2 litres per day. If you are thirsty it means that you are already de-hydrated. Some of your water may come in the form of watery vegetables – e.g. cucumbers. But even if you are not thirsty – just get into the habit of drinking water. It is the carrier for getting the nutrients and oxygen around the body. Without enough water – you become physically and mentally sluggish
  • Don’t eat too much. See how much more energy you have if you haven’t overloaded.
  • Try to keep junk food to a minimum. You will be surprised how much better you’ll feel.
  • Exercise. We as a nation have become physically lazy. We don’t even have to get up to change the channel on the TV. It’s no wonder we do not have the strength and stamina of previous generations. Exercise is needed to massage the organs so they can function well and helps the flow of blood through the system. It is needed to keep the metabolism working well. It also helps the body to produce its own anti depressants.

If you give your body what it needs to maintain itself it will reward you with a stronger immune system and with better health.

Addictions Drugs and Alcohol

Of course – addictions are not just confined to food.

I’m an ex smoker and though I haven’t had a cigarette in 30 years, I know that if I just have one or two – that’ll be it and I’ll be back to smoking like a trooper.

Even now – after all these years – I sometimes dream that I’m smoking. I think – “Didn’t you give up?” But it makes no difference and there I am inhaling away in my dreams – feeling a bit guilty but managing to ignore it, and as though 30 years as a non smoker had never happened.

Once an addict – always an addict.
Alcoholics Anonymous recognise this and everyone there introduces themselves as an alcoholic even if they haven’t touched a drop in years.

Addiction to drugs and alcohol can be for a variety of reasons.

• You may have been born to a mother who was drinking heavily or who was taking drugs while pregnant, which gave the growing baby a predisposition or an addiction to those substances.
• You come from a family or social group that uses drugs and alcohol and so what starts out as a way to be part of a social group becomes a dependency.
• You’ve had to take drugs to control illness and pain and have become reliant on them and then when you no longer need the drugs realise you’ve become addicted.
• You have been using drugs and alcohol as a means of finding confidence and feel you can only be amusing and good company when you’re high. Then you find out that you have to keep taking more just to be on an even keel, and that you now have a dependency.
• You’ve been using drugs and alcohol as an emotional anaesthetic, so that you don’t have to think of whatever may be troubling you – and you have become dependent.
• You’re looking for a way to escape yourself

Addiction can be thought of as having two interacting parts.

• The effect the substances have on the body
– the deterioration of the thinking processes and the nervous system
– the craving that an addiction sets up.
• The wish to escape the realities of your life
– The disappointments
– The failed relationships
– The circumstances you believe you cannot influence and so have a feeling of impotence.

I believe that when working with someone to overcome their addiction both the emotional reasons for that addiction and the intense physical craving have to be looked at simultaneously.

• The body needs to be helped to clear itself of any residue of the substance.
• The body and mind need help to repair themselves after what may have been years of mistreatment.
• The person needs to be supported through the feelings of guilt and remorse for their actions and for what they have become.
• The emotions which that person was unable to face and tried to mask with drugs and alcohol must be worked through

Theta Healing has helped people I have worked with transform their feelings about themselves and has produced rapid and effective change. Homoeopathic remedies have been invaluable in helping the body to repair itself.

If you would like help with an addiction

Please call me on – 07979538 378 to find out more

Go to my website www.deborahtalalayhealing.com. I have given an explanation on Theta Healing and how it works.

If you click on the page – What clients have said – you will see how they have overcome some of the self doubts and negativity which lie beneath addiction.

Fear of Public Speaking – some hints to improve your performance and some underlying causes

For those of us  who do not belong in a corporate background and who are not at home with preparing  power point presentations, but are still expected to get up in front of an audience and deliver a speech – public speaking can be very daunting.

So here’s a few confidence boosters and also a quick look at why we become so anxious.

  • Be prepared. Its not a good idea to hope that inspiration comes to you on the day. Neither is it realistic to expect to remember the facts and figures when you are nervous.. If you expect to be nervous – you will probably forget everything or get it wrong. Having the facts and figures in front of you is a good confidence booster.
  • Is what you have to say well written and interesting? Because if it isn’t start there and rewrite so you know you have a coherent  presentation to deliver.
  • Your audience generally wishes you well, so expect them to welcome and be open to what you have to say.
  • They  will want to be entertained as well as informed, so one or two light hearted anecdotes usually helps everyone to relax.
  • Wear smart clothes and make sure that they are not too tight and that you can breathe properly. Ladies – don’t wear your killer heels – you’ll probably regret it.
  • Always stand when addressing your audience and answering their questions. I’m amazed at how often people forget to do this. Its very annoying to not be able to see the speaker.
  • Be inclusive of the entire audience. Walk about on the stage even if you do have a podium. It allows you to communicate more easily with different parts of the room.  Ensure you make eye contact and include the people in every part of the room – otherwise part of your audience might feel rejected.

Still terrified?

Have you prepared  your material really well, rehearsed  it  – learned some of it – and yet are still terrified at the idea of standing alone in public?

Why?

If the material you have to put over is relevant and interesting, what makes you seize up? What stops you communicating in a relaxed and friendly manner?

Some of the reasons why.

Fear of speaking in public is as widespread as it is because of the underlying fears which are a common element of the human condition.

This is a fear of being criticised, judged and ultimately found wanting.

And under that is the fear that perhaps you are not quite good enough and that this will be discovered and highlighted  if you are in the spotlight.

To effectively overcome these fears it is important to work on how you feel about yourself. Do you like and respect yourself? Do you expect others to like and respect you – or do you expect them to pick holes in you, reject your views and in general become hostile. Above all – are you at ease with yourself?

Its no wonder so many actors are scared to death.  They used to be pelted with rotten tomatoes if the audience didn’t like them. Even without the tomatoes – to be at the receiving end of a bored, hostile or alienated audience feels terrible.

The people who are the most successful in engaging their audience are at ease with themselves. They don’t have to deliver the wittiest or the most intellectually challenging speech. But they do have to be at ease with themselves.

To be at ease is not as difficult as it sounds.

There are many homeopathic remedies which help with the nerves and also with self confidence.

I have had excellent results using Theta Healing. This has enabled  people to eliminate the negativity they have about themselves very easily and effectively. When the negativity is released then there is a feeling of greater  self worth and with that comes ease.

If you would like to become one of the minority who are comfortable and at ease with themselves.

Please call me on  – 07979538 378 to find out more

Go to my website www.deborahtalalayhealing.com. I have given a an explanation on Theta Healing and how it works.

If you click on the page – What clients have said – you will see how they have overcome their nerves and how their confidence has grown

Fear of Public Speaking – and what can be done about it

They say that most people would endure any ordeal rather than speak in public. Even some of our most celebrated actors are reduced to a quivering fearful jelly before each performance.

Many of us have experienced the symptoms:

  • A dry mouth,
  • breaking out into a sweat,
  • stomach upset,
  • nausea and vomiting,
  • sleepless night,
  • unable to eat,
  • forgetting what we were about to say,
  • convinced that what we need to say is incredibly dull and that no-one wants to listen to us – so we cut out a lot of the information we were about to give.

Then we stand there in front of our audience or interviewer and give the wooden performance of our lives. Our body language is stiff and shows our fear. The audience is embarrassed and becomes anxious and we wish the floor would open up and swallow us whole.

Though that is an extreme example – many of us will have experienced some of these symptoms.

Most of us don’t need to put ourselves into that position and can avoid public speaking. But there are many who have to speak in public, and generally be in the public eye as part of their job…

One of my clients – an analyst in the City – had to conduct seminars, give expert opinion on Radio and TV and inform the press. He was brilliant at being an analyst but everything else caused constant fear and anxiety. He had been in his career for a number of years and instead of becoming used to being in public – it was getting worse. He knew what a poor show he put on and that what he had to say sounded dull and boring. This began to affect his dealings with his colleagues. …….and so it went on.

In over 20 years as a homeopath and later as an NLP Master Practitioner and Theta Healer – I have seen many people with stage fright , exam nerves and a terror of appearing in public.

There are several ways of tackling this.

Tranquilisers and sleeping pills help up to a point – but you lose your edge and they can make you drowsy. Besides – it is much better to not have to rely on drugs if you can help it.

Homeopathic remedies can greatly reduce stage fright and the anxiety felt on the days leading up to an event. Over a period of time they can also deal with the lack of confidence that makes people so frightened of appearing in public. They have the advantage of being gentle and safe for all ages, and they are not addictive.

But to my mind the greatest success comes when the cause of the fear is discovered and dealt with. This is where Theta healing or NLP come in. I have found that my clients have responded extremely well to Theta. That panic and dread have been replaced by confidence, motivation, and yes – even a sense of enjoyment. And the transformation has lasted without having to top up on drugs and pills.

The Analyst was treated with Theta Healing and homeopathic remedies. He has turned his performance around and has recently been head hunted for a significantly better job.

If you’d like to know more about Homeopathy and Theta Healing– please go to my website www.deborahtalalayhealing.com