So many of us are plagued with this belief and the anxiety it causes.
‘I’m not as good or as clever or as capable as………………….’
‘People think I know what I’m doing and I’m only a small step ahead of them’
‘It’s just a fluke I got to where I am. It’s just luck.’
‘I can’t allow anyone to see just how anxious I am or they’ll understand that really I’m not up to the job.’
‘I can’t allow anyone near me or they’ll find out I’m a fraud.’
It’s surprising how many people who are at the top of their professions feel like this. You’d never guess – they keep it very well hidden.
If you were to ask someone else about that person they would probably tell you how great they are and what an inspiration they have been, and if you told that person they would be astonished.
Other people’s perception of us is often quite different to how we think we are. They might rate you for things you take for granted or as something that really isn’t important. But to others it has been meaningful.
We are so busy being down on ourselves for what we think of as our faults and failures – that we just don’t get it that these things are not what we are valued for. I have often told people how great they are at something only to have them shrug it off and dismiss it as unimportant compared to their faults. They won’t receive it as the genuine compliment it was meant to be, and they don’t believe that what I am complimenting them about is worth complimenting.
Alternatively – there are many who are convinced they are a fraud and it’s only by a fluke that they’re in the position they’re in. They won’t let anyone close in case they find out how anxious they are and how inferior they believe themselves to be. So no one can get near them and they come over as remote. Often they are so busy stopping anyone getting near that they can be aggressive.
In both cases they are their own worst enemies. The underlying belief is that if they criticise themselves first no one else will get the chance to do it. So they criticise themselves for all sorts of real and imagined faults. Of course – what you have yourself is what you notice in others. So others come in for lots of judgement too.
All of this comes from a lack of confidence in oneself and the anxiety that you are somehow wrong. That your best efforts aren’t good enough and that you are going to be judged by others. So then that person thinks that they will feel a lot better if they are as near perfect as they can make themselves. Anything less that perfection amounts to failure. This is an impossible standard to live to and breeds even more anxiety. Then if the smallest thing goes wrong it’s a catastrophe. Have you noticed how anxious some people get when things don’t go according to their very carefully laid plans?
With the anxiety that we’re not good enough – comes the conviction that we’ve done something wrong – and the most terrible feelings of guilt.
So much anxiety as a result of one negative belief.
And so many defence mechanisms to go with it – all of which breed more anxiety.
I have found in my Theta Healing practice how scarce genuine self confidence is.
A number of factors may have contributed to lack of confidence and poor self esteem, but these factors are rarely based on reality. However, whether it’s real or not, the belief is enough to overshadow a person’s life.
I have also seen this destructive belief changed very rapidly to a real knowledge and recognition for that person of their strengths, and a recognition and the ability to work through their weaknesses.
If you would like to learn more about Theta Healing and how it can help remove beliefs which don’t serve you:-
Call me on: 07979538378
Email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Or go to my website to find out how Theta Healing and Homeopathy could help you. www.deborahtalalayhealing.com