Tag: separation

Don’t Turn Your Breakup Into A Battlefield

Posted by: Deborah Talalay Posted on: 15/01/2012 , , , , , ,

Breaking up is never easy, even if you are the one that wants to end the relationship. It can be a time of deep emotional pain, conflicting emotions and whether you initiated the break up or not both partners will go through some sort of grieving process. For some it may take years to get over, but it doesn’t have to be that way and neither does it have to be a period of fighting, pain and emotional turmoil as you and your partner negotiate the tricky and painful process of separating your lives and moving on. .

With the right help, advice and guidance, breaking up can handled healthily and civilly and it doesn’t necessarily need to take years to recover from the pain, rejection and sadness that inevitably accompanies a broken heart and the end of a relationship. That’s not to say it won’t hurt but many common mistakes, emotional minefields and unnecessary financial hardships can be avoided if you consciously choose to not fall into the trap of turning your break-up into a battlefield. You have a choice when a relationship ends, you can let it define your life and sink into a morass of anger, bitterness, victim hood and sadness or you can resolve to work to get over the pain of the break up and move on to a happier and healthier life.

Theta healing can help eliminate beliefs you may have that block your ability to process painful emotions that will inevitably come up through this difficult stage. A course of Theta Healing can help you move towards a new life more easily and with less pain, help your regain your confidence, understand what went wrong, help your children make the transition without dragging them into the break-up and causing them any more trauma than they need to endure. It can help you understand why you chose that particular partner in the first place and to face the future with hope and the confidence that your next romantic relationship will be successful and lead to happiness.

Despite most people saying they are determined to make their separation as amicable as possible, even when both want the relationship to end, the dissolution of a relationship can and often does quickly disintegrate into a battlefield. How you handle the break up will impact everyone around you, especially your ex-partner and your children if you have them.

It can be terrifying when a relationship ends and people often lash out and attack, often using the children as weapons to attack their partners, especially if they feel they are the wronged party. This can be especially damaging to the children and can have a life-long impact.

One of the biggest mistakes couples make when divorcing, is to immediately consult a lawyer. A period of emotional cooling off is advisable before you start negotiating about who takes the dog, and who keeps the DVD collection. Lawyers are quick to jump in and oftentimes create unnecessary conflict between a divorcing couple. Yet in many cases where divorce is inevitable, much of the separation can be handled by the couple themselves without incurring extortionate legal fees or stress. Divorce is the separation of assets and the negotiation of a new contract (the decree absolute). Ultimately, if a couple can’t come to an agreement between themselves, they will will make the painful process more difficult for themselves and increase their suffering. They will incur unnecessary legal bills, emotional stress and a allow a judge to decide their future. Where children are involved it could mean that the children suffer in unnecessary custody battles.

If a couple can separate the emotions from the actual divorce itself the worst and most common battles can be avoided and costs can be kept to a minimum. One of the most important things to understand is that a lawyer is not your therapist. A Lawyer and a therapist will both keep tissues in their office but do you really want to pay £300-£600 an hour to cry to someone who is not a trained emotional counselor or therapist? Use a lawyer on the most necessary parts of the negotiation but if you are sensible a Decree Absolute can be obtained online at minimal cost. It may be more worthwhile to consult an accountant or financial adviser than a lawyer when sorting out the financial settlement.

There is often a terrible feeling of failure that the relationship has turned sour, that you haven’t been able to make it work, or that you chose badly in the first place. Sometimes, in order to make us feel better about ourselves we blame the other and then make ourselves the victim and ultimately become bitter, which keeps us stuck in a place of anger and resentment. This is no way to go forward in life. If your whole life is driven by hatred, resentment and anger towards your ex partner, the person that will suffer the most is ultimately you
Hatred and bitterness are extremely unattractive traits and will eventually drive away even the most sympathetic and supportive friends and family members and you and your children will suffer, often for years and always unnecessarily. Hatred and bitterness can also ultimately damage you physically and emotionally, it shows in your face, in your body language in the language you choose, your life will begin to reflect the anger and bitterness you feel. The best thing you can do for is determine to move on and build a new life for yourself.
It is rare for someone to be able to get over the end of a long term relationship without some sort of professional help, and Theta healing can often help you move much faster than conventional therapies.

How Theta Healing Can Help

The reality is that we often choose our partners for unconscious reasons. Often we are driven by unconscious beliefs that we don’t even know we have on a conscious level. Theta healing can help you reveal and discover the beliefs that led you to choose the partner you did, or why you keep choosing the same type of person and always replay the same relationships over and over again. Until we understand what drives us and why we are attracted to people who are not good for us then we are doomed to repeat the same patterns. Theta healing can help uncover, release and reprogram our beliefs and patterns, which can help us let go of our past so we won’t be doomed to choose the same type of partner next time.

Theta Healing can help us accept the end of the relationship, let go of emotional attachments and ties to our ex-partner, help us regain our confidence and self-belief and get over the painful emotions and avoid the common pitfalls and traps that people succumb to when getting divorced or ending long term relationships. Theta can help us move on and release the hatred and bitterness. It can help us feel strong and confident about the future, treat ourselves and our ex with civility and respect and the understanding that not every relationship is meant to last forever and that everyone, especially you and even your ex, is entitled to live a life filled with joy, love and happiness.
If you would like to learn more about Theta Healing and how it can help you get through your breakup Call me on: 07979538378
E-mail me at: debbie.talalay@btinternet.com Or go to my website to find out how Theta Healing could help you. www.thetahealingvideos.com

Is Your Relationship Ending?

Posted by: Deborah Talalay Posted on: 03/01/2012 , , , , , , , ,

January is a time for new resolutions and new beginnings, so it’s unsurprising that January sees the break up of many marriages and relationships. Family lawyers say that January is their busiest month.

There’s something about Christmas and New Year which places great strains on a relationship and often spending an extended amount of time together when you are not getting on well, believing that your feelings for each other have changed and that you are very unhappy can brings things to a head in a strained relationship.

The end of a relationship can be traumatic and have long term repercussions but with Theta Healing it is possible to save a relationship or help you move on when divorce or breaking up really is the only option.

Separating and unravelling your life from your partner’s can be a traumatic and terrifying experience.There is so much that has been done as a couple – building a life together, creating a home, a family, so many friends – so many memories.

And then there are the children. Divorce can be devastating to the children and to the partner who will no longer see them on a daily. And even if you are desperate for your partnership to end – it is a serious step to deprive the other loving parent of their children although in many cases it is often better for the children in the long run to have two parents who are happy living separately than growing up in an unhappy household.

There are also feelings of loss and grief over who will take the family pet, the possessions which have been chosen together, or the music collection.

So the first thing to think about very clearly is – can your relationship return to being a loving caring relationship? If you were to work on yourself and your relationship, could you erase the hurt and the bad feeling that has built up between you? After all – most people really liked and hopefully once loved their partner when they married them – so there must be some compatibility there.

Even though this might seem impossible, it isn’t. When you change your beliefs with Theta Healing relationships become very much better. It’s possible to erase the hurt, the loss of respect, the anger, the disappointment and all the other emotions that arise when a relationship turns sour. I have treated a number of clients who have changed their minds about divorce and been able to start again on a much better footing after receiving Theta Healing.

But sometimes it is better to move on.

I believe that the bottom line is that each individual needs to be allowed to grow within a relationship.
If that is impossible – then that person needs to gather their courage and leave.
Of course there is often divorce where there is one unwilling partner which is extraordinarily hurtful and difficult for that person, especially if they still have feelings for the partner who wishes to end the marriage.

A divorce by mutual agreement is the easiest to handle, and even then there are intense feelings of loss and failure.
When one partner wants to leave the other for a new partner – then there are feelings of guilt by the person who is leaving.
But for the partner who is being left the experience is usually much worse.
• Feelings of rejection, of not being good enough or young enough or good looking enough.
• Feelings of betrayal and anger.
• Feelings of shame that they have been discarded
• Loss of all belief in themselves
• No motivation to continue with a new life.
• Fear of the future

That deserted partner can sink into a deep depression which is difficult to come out of.
Some people start to smoke again, or to drown their sorrows in booze.
Others eat cakes and sweets, then their weight balloons, which confirms their belief that they are unattractive
In some ways it is easier if a partner dies than to be divorced. At least you have not been rejected.

When your relationship ends it is one of the most challenging changes you can face in your life. You have to come to terms with the change and begin to think of creating a new life.

You will need a lot of help and support in sifting through all the feelings that threaten to overwhelm you. Friends can be comforting though some may desert you.

Get professional help. Get help in releasing your anger and grief. Don’t get stuck in despair or bitterness.
If the situation can’t be changed – make a pledge to yourself that you are going to use the opportunity to make a better life for yourself and to be the person you always wanted to be.
It is difficult to do this on your own – so – get help.
It’s worth it.

Theta healing will help you through in a much shorter space of time. It won’t alter what has happened – but you will feel better about yourself and your future much more quickly than if you struggle with this on your own.
If you would like to learn more about Theta Healing and how it can help you
Call me on: 07979538378
Email me at: debbie.talalay@gmail.com
Or go to my website to find out how Theta Healing and Homeopathy could help you. www.18.135.123.1