I Hate How I Look

Dysmorphia – a mental disorder characterized by distorted body image and obsessions about perceived physical shortcomings

“I feel so gross – I can’t stand how I look” said a very pretty woman.

She was carrying a lot of weight around her hips and backside – but was still very attractive.

But she didn’t see it like that.  Her prettiness meant nothing to her. She couldn’t believe it that men found her attractive. She thought they just pitied her!

Any attempt to get her to take a fresh look at herself was met with scorn and was rejected.

“In some cultures men prefer women with a big bottom” said I.

But no – I was just trying to make her feel better – and this is how it is, and her only option was to hide her bottom and herself.

What a waste! So much energy and emotion devoted to hating herself.

It would be easy to lose patience, to class her as self obsessed and let her get on with it. But that would be to dismiss the great many people who are so deeply ashamed of some part of their body or the shape of their body, that they come to reject themselves. It is a real and widespread problem and has ruined many lives, not only of the sufferers but also of their families and friends.

The body part they hate becomes the reason for all the things that don’t happen and have gone wrong in their lives. Usually – it’s held responsible for lack of confidence and lack of confidence is held responsible for most of life’s ills – failing to have a partner, never getting promoted at work,

It is useless to try to cajole or tease a person out of it. Unless that person changes how they perceive their body – nothing you say will make any difference at all. They don’t see their body as you see it. To them – their reality is like standing in front of a distorting fairground mirror. That is how they look to themselves. They’re surprised you can’t see it as they do and think that maybe you can but are too polite to tell them how they really look.

If the problem is because a woman – and it’s usually a woman – thinks she’s overweight, it can become so severe that it results in an eating disorder – bulimia (induced vomiting) maybe followed by anorexia.  I have known anorexics who were quite convinced they were grossly overweight even though they were so thin their bones stood out under the skin.

How do people get like this?

It doesn’t help that the fashion industry seems to be mainly aimed at dressing stick insects. The ultra thin shape has become the desired shape for us ordinary mortals – and unless we restrict our diets to two lettuce leaves and 40 cigarettes a day – we are bound to fail.

It doesn’t matter to the fashion industry that to be that thin you have probably deprived your body of the nutrients needed to function as a woman, that you feel faint most of the time, that you have stopped menstruating and that you are unable to conceive. Though of course if you were to conceive – it would mean putting on weight and becoming larger – so maybe that’s not a problem after all.

So we try to look like these fashion models, and when we can’t we feel like failures and start to hate ourselves for not being able to achieve the desired goal. Next thing you know you’re binge eating then vomiting.

The problem may not be weight but your dislike of a body part – such as a large nose. If you have been passed over or rejected it is easy to feel unwanted and to blame this on your big nose and the embarrassment it causes you, plus your loss of self worth because you feel so unusual and so ugly.

In reality – the ugliest people are often really successful because they have decided that they must make themselves really good at something so that their ugliness doesn’t matter. Often they are the most charming and the most fun to be with.

We have been given so many gifts and attributes which we ignore because we don’t have the thing we want. It’s like a child stamping her foot and saying if she can’t have an ice cream then she doesn’t want her dinner.

Many people decide that surgery is their only answer. And yes – surgery can help to restore your confidence – because you now look like everyone else.

But this isn’t the deep down confidence of a person being happy in their own skin.

This kind of confidence only comes by accepting who you are.

It is much easier than one would think to learn how to accept and be happy with oneself. Theta Healing can achieve this easily and effectively.

If you are considering surgery – please make sure that you also learn how to feel happy in yourself so that your transformation can be more than just skin deep.

If you would like to learn more about Theta Healing and how it can help you feel good about yourself:-

Call me on: 07979538378

Email me at: debbie.talalay@gmail.com

Or go to my website to find out how Theta Healing and Homeopathy could help you. www.deborahtalalayhealing.com

Deborah Talalay Theta Healer, Homeopath, NLP Master Practitioner, and a Healer. Deborah Talalay is a leading London based Theta Healer who has practised in Harley Street and West London and has successfully treated people of all ages and from all walks of life. Deborah has developed the Stamford Healing Process, an enhanced form of Theta Healing that can be accessed online anywhere in the world direct via Deborah’s Self Help Videos.     Read more about Deborah