The Emotional Impact of Infertility

The urge to procreate is incredibly strong and is hardwired into us, especially into females. So when a woman wants a child and is unable to conceive it is felt as much more than a failure to conceive. This is felt as a failure as a human being.

When you have just bought a new car you suddenly notice all the other cars of the same make on the road.
When you want a baby – all you can see is pregnant women – everyone seems to be pregnant having conceived effortlessly. If another woman’s baby is unplanned and maybe unwanted then that is a further slap in the face to the woman who is dying to have a baby and cannot. She wonders what is wrong with her – if she is being punished for some misdeed. She thinks she is unloved by God and the universe or that she’s been forgotten. She feels sidelined and abandoned.

All this has a terrible effect on the woman’s emotional health. She does not feel complete as a person – as though something vital has been withheld from or denied to her. And her mind dwells on it obsessively. Every family with small children has been blessed and she has not.

Sometimes she feels ashamed of her infertility. In some cultures this is a valid reason for men to punish and divorce their wives. Then this woman is humiliated and excluded because of her infertility.
And all the while – it could have been a problem with the man!

It is well worth while for each couple to be tested to see where exactly the problems lie. As I said in my last blog – get in touch with Foresight and take their help.
Tel: 01243 868001
Email: emailus@foresight-preconception.org.uk

Many women find that they feel just as bad when they want another child as those women without any children at all. The urge to procreate is just as strong and so then they feel guilty and ashamed because they feel that they shouldn’t be making such a fuss when they already have a child.

I have treated many women who are so desperate to become pregnant that their entire life is centred around maximising that possibility. Her partner has to have sex around the time when his wife ovulates whether he feels like it or not. He gets to feel that his only use is as a sperm machine. He feels he has failed because his wife is so unhappy and that he must be less important to her than having a baby. Pretty soon he starts to feel angry and unwanted. And when it comes to lovemaking – he can’t work up any enthusiasm because he knows that the only reason is to produce a baby.

The effect all this has on the partnership is stressful and destructive. The man feels undervalued and the woman feels not understood and inadequately cared for.

Many women find that they feel just as bad when they want another child as those women without any children at all. The urge to procreate is just as strong and so then they feel guilty and ashamed because they feel that they shouldn’t be making such a fuss when they already have a child.

The woman is on an emotional roller coaster. Every month she hopes she will get pregnant and anxiously waits to see if her period is going to come. If it is a little late she is beside herself with hope and anxiety and then when her period finally arrives she sinks into despair.

Of course all this anxiety and negativity sends chemical signals to the body which makes the prospect of conceiving even less likely. The very opposite of the hoped for conception is achieved.

Much can be done with Theta healing to calm the situation. I have treated women who have come to terms with childlessness and who no longer think that a vital part of themselves is missing. I have treated others who have managed to relax and accept whatever happens and who have finally become pregnant. When the heat is off – the relationship has a chance to heal and this sometimes produces a pregnancy.

If you would like to learn more about Theta Healing and how it can help with infertility
Call me on: 07979538378
Email me at: debbie.talalay@gmail.com
Or go to my website to find out how Theta Healing and Homeopathy could help you. www.deborahtalalayhealing.com

Alternatives to IVF

For a number of years I have been a member of a wonderful organisation called Foresight – The Association  for the Promotion of Pre-Conceptual Care.  It provides a non invasive, inexpensive alternative to IVF.

 

I have reproduced an article I wrote on Foresight in 2008.

 

‘Foresight is a charity focused on pre-conceptual care and infertility.

The incidence of infertility is growing at an alarming rate.

The emotional and financial cost both to the people involved and to the health service is very high.

 

Foresight has proved to be immensely successful in its fertility programme and in producing healthy babies. The success rate for conception to the birth of a healthy infant is 78.4%.

 

People referred to Foresight have their hair analysed.

This highlights

  • levels of toxicity including drugs, alcohol and nicotine
  • parasites
  • infections
  • nutrient deficiencies and imbalances
  • allergies

All of which can cause infertility and often have repercussions for the babies eventually conceived. Depending on the results of the analysis, the couple are then referred to a therapist – usually a nutritionist or homoeopath. They are prescribed a course of supplements aimed at rectifying the problems revealed in the hair analysis.

 

Foresight aims to

  • help couples achieve good health so that it becomes possible to conceive
  • help couples to conceive without drugs and invasive procedures
  • ensure that children are not born with entirely avoidable conditions arising from nutrient deficiencies or toxicity of the parent
  • relieve the NHS in the future of the need to provide expensive operations and care for those who are currently being born with these conditions
  • encourage people to have babies who are healthy in both mind and body

 

A healthy society is the product of the individuals in that society. Helping prospective parents to regain good health provides the basis for the health of the next generation and is  reflected in the society that results.

 

This service is available at a fraction of the cost of IVF and other procedures.  I believe it to be effective and very worthwhile.

I would like to see a Foresight centre in each major city which can help couples to conceive and to attain this level of health.

 

Cost comparison of treatments

IVF – £6000                                         Foresight –  £300 – £400

Success Rate

IVF – 21.6 %                                      Foresight – 78.4%

 

When asked about the comparative costs between IVF and alternative methods – an IVF consultant was recently quoted as saying that alternative methods were exploitative. As seen by the figures shown above, this is patently untrue.’

 

I have also found that the mind can play a large part in blocking conception. Fear that the husband does not really want another child. Worry that the child will place an unwanted financial burden on the family. Worry that her life will change dramatically and that she’s not sure she can cope.

 

The anxiety of trying to conceive often acts as a block to conception. The couple – particularly the woman is so overwrought that her body produces a hostile environment for conception. Women trying to conceive used to be placed with infants – just to hold them and cuddle them.  This deceived the body and mind into a state of relaxation and fulfilment and the women frequently became pregnant as a result.

 

So it is important when aiming to conceive to keep the mind in a welcoming receptive state so that the body is given the correct signals and knows that it is the right moment to get started.

 

If you feel that your anxiety and negativity is part of the problem and is adding to the difficulties you may be having trying to conceive – Theta Healing will help you.

Please call me on – 07979538 378 to find out more.

Go to my website www.deborahtalalayhealing.com. I have given an explanation on Theta Healing and how it works.