Exam Phobia

There is a very different scenario to the teenager who won’t try. It’s the girl/boy who works well throughout the year – but when it comes to sitting down to take an exam fails himself miserably.

The coursework proves that the student has understood the subject and can discuss it with intelligence and insight.  And then you have the exam, in which the same student is completely incapable of summoning up any of the facts or of making any sort of argument or coherent discussion.

This phobia is very similar to fear of public speaking.

There is a feeling of such physical terror that the mind goes blank, the mouth becomes dry, a vacuum opens up between your ears, and you become incapable of recognising anything other than the dread in your heart and the terrible fear that accompanies it. Well learned facts and figures fly out of your mind. You can’t remember anyone’s name – let alone their dates.  You know you have failed yet again. The despair is overwhelming.

If you have exam phobia you will know that this creates all sorts of problems in other areas.

You don’t feel well – and often have nausea, stomach cramps and perhaps diarrhoea.

The expectation of performing badly means there is not much point in revising.

The dread of the approaching exam interferes with sleep – so you can spend a long time worrying and have difficulty getting to sleep. Then when you do – you have nightmares.

Your energy drains away and you feel too tired to revise.

Your confidence hits rock bottom.

The whole thing is a blight on your life.

If it’s your child going through this – you watch and wish you could do something more to help.  Is extra tuition the answer? Would a no – nonsense approach get better results? Should you put the child into a less academic environment?

You watch your child torture himself and you feel angry and impotent.

What is going to happen to the child who may be bright and have academic potential but who cannot compete in the race?

What sort of a life can this child expect?

Is he condemned to work at a level far less than his capabilities?

Luckily there are answers.

There are excellent homeopathic remedies which target this phobia.

Go to an experienced homeopath and they will find the remedy that most closely corresponds to the symptoms. Homeopathic remedies are safe and effective. You will not become addicted and your personality won’t be masked by them.

Go to a Theta Healer to find out why this phobia exists.

I have found that it is usually for the same reasons that are responsible for most of our negative and self limiting thinking.

A belief that:
• I’m not clever enough
• I’m not good enough
• I am unacceptable
• I’m a failure

And so the list goes on.

You may say that yours or your child’s situation is not as bad as has been described and that all this sounds very heavy duty. Of course – I have given the worst case scenario and there are many different levels of experience.

But the responsibility for all these levels of experience lies with the same beliefs – though maybe not as strongly felt.

Of course – most of us do not go around saying that we aren’t good enough, and we don’t think of ourselves as failures.  But in the back of the mind there is a little voice which tells us exactly that. We do our best to squash it – but somehow the negativity seeps through and saps our confidence. We start to develope fear of doing whatever we think may challenge us.  We only see the fear – because we have hidden what lies under and what is now concealed by the fear. The underlying beliefs are responsible for our phobias – the fear is only the symptom.

Think of the brain as a computer hosting many programmes.  Mostly the capacity of this amazing machine is used up by our negative programming – leaving less room for the positive programme circuits.

When you eradicate that negative voice in your head, the fear goes with it, and leaves room on your circuits for the positive thoughts to enter and for confidence and positivity to start influencing your life.

I have a more detailed explanation of how Homeopathic treatment and Theta healing can help on my web site:

www.health4life-online.com

If you would like help for yourself/ a friend or family member/ or would like to find out more, I can be contacted on : 07979538378

Exam Revision: – Does Facebook feature more prominently than text books?

Exams are looming.

How does your teenager deal with them?

Is revision put off till the last possible moment until fear and panic set in?

Does Facebook feature more prominently than textbooks?

Or does she feel she can’t possibly revise the entire syllabus – doesn’t know where to start – so doesn’t do anything?

Or like one boy I treated – who was so terrified of sitting the exams he couldn’t bring himself to think about it – and that included revision.

Has procrastination becomes a way of life?

One parent told me of the sinking feeling of despair she had when she saw her clever but unmotivated son divide his time between yet another computer game and the TV. She told me how angry and upset she was that she was paying for a first class education so he could get a start in life – and how let down she felt that he was damaging his future by throwing away his opportunities and his potential, and that he hadn’t valued or recognised the effort his parents were making to send him to his school.

In these very common scenarios no amount of cajoling or bribery make any difference and guilt trips only succeed in making them even more stubborn.

It can look like laziness, but in my experience there is no such thing as a lazy child.

What I have seen are children whose attitude and performance are clouded by negative beliefs and low expectations of themselves. There are many who believe that they are not as clever as parents or brothers and sisters – they believe they will never live up to their family’s expectations of them and can’t possibly compete with the family track record. So they decide that they won’t put anything into it, and that will mean that they haven’t failed because they didn’t even try. You can’t fail if you don’t compete in the first place.

Belief: “I am not good enough”  lies beneath low expectations and poor performance.

What we are looking at is avoidance rather than laziness:

• Avoidance of failure and humiliation if they try and then fail, or if they try and the results are just mediocre.
• Avoidance of the disappointment of parents and themselves if they decide to try and then perform badly.
• Avoidance of the confirmation that they are not good enough.

Failure and fear of failure are responsible for a lot of negative attitude.

 

• Avoidance of being thought of as a nerd or a boffin. This one has a lot to do with the school and if it’s judged to be uncool if you’re clever.

You could lose your social status, which would be infinitely worse than failing a few exams.

The fear of being seen as too clever can make a teenager underperform

Then there’s the inability to concentrate – sometimes classified as ADHD. If your teenager comes into this category, there is plenty that can be done to not only help, but to transform the situation. Homeopathic remedies and Theta Healing are both powerful tools.

Ritalin is often prescribed by the medical profession. I personally, do not believe that Ritalin is the answer or even a temporary solution. It does not cure the underlying causes and you end up with a child living under a permanent drug regime.

I have treated teenagers for all these beliefs and problems.  Some of them have been very alienated, and in these cases it has taken them longer to get them back on track. But it can be done.

It’s not the studying that’s the problem – it’s the beliefs surrounding the studying.

These can be changed.

The fastest and most effective method I have found is Theta Healing.

On my website www.deborahtalalayhealing.com. I have an explanation on Theta Healing and how it works. If you click on the page – What clients have said – you will see a message from a mother whose daughter began doing much better in her exams and with her revision after Theta Healing.

If you would like to find out more, please contact me on:  07979538 378

Fear of Public Speaking – some hints to improve your performance and some underlying causes

For those of us  who do not belong in a corporate background and who are not at home with preparing  power point presentations, but are still expected to get up in front of an audience and deliver a speech – public speaking can be very daunting.

So here’s a few confidence boosters and also a quick look at why we become so anxious.

  • Be prepared. Its not a good idea to hope that inspiration comes to you on the day. Neither is it realistic to expect to remember the facts and figures when you are nervous.. If you expect to be nervous – you will probably forget everything or get it wrong. Having the facts and figures in front of you is a good confidence booster.
  • Is what you have to say well written and interesting? Because if it isn’t start there and rewrite so you know you have a coherent  presentation to deliver.
  • Your audience generally wishes you well, so expect them to welcome and be open to what you have to say.
  • They  will want to be entertained as well as informed, so one or two light hearted anecdotes usually helps everyone to relax.
  • Wear smart clothes and make sure that they are not too tight and that you can breathe properly. Ladies – don’t wear your killer heels – you’ll probably regret it.
  • Always stand when addressing your audience and answering their questions. I’m amazed at how often people forget to do this. Its very annoying to not be able to see the speaker.
  • Be inclusive of the entire audience. Walk about on the stage even if you do have a podium. It allows you to communicate more easily with different parts of the room.  Ensure you make eye contact and include the people in every part of the room – otherwise part of your audience might feel rejected.

Still terrified?

Have you prepared  your material really well, rehearsed  it  – learned some of it – and yet are still terrified at the idea of standing alone in public?

Why?

If the material you have to put over is relevant and interesting, what makes you seize up? What stops you communicating in a relaxed and friendly manner?

Some of the reasons why.

Fear of speaking in public is as widespread as it is because of the underlying fears which are a common element of the human condition.

This is a fear of being criticised, judged and ultimately found wanting.

And under that is the fear that perhaps you are not quite good enough and that this will be discovered and highlighted  if you are in the spotlight.

To effectively overcome these fears it is important to work on how you feel about yourself. Do you like and respect yourself? Do you expect others to like and respect you – or do you expect them to pick holes in you, reject your views and in general become hostile. Above all – are you at ease with yourself?

Its no wonder so many actors are scared to death.  They used to be pelted with rotten tomatoes if the audience didn’t like them. Even without the tomatoes – to be at the receiving end of a bored, hostile or alienated audience feels terrible.

The people who are the most successful in engaging their audience are at ease with themselves. They don’t have to deliver the wittiest or the most intellectually challenging speech. But they do have to be at ease with themselves.

To be at ease is not as difficult as it sounds.

There are many homeopathic remedies which help with the nerves and also with self confidence.

I have had excellent results using Theta Healing. This has enabled  people to eliminate the negativity they have about themselves very easily and effectively. When the negativity is released then there is a feeling of greater  self worth and with that comes ease.

If you would like to become one of the minority who are comfortable and at ease with themselves.

Please call me on  – 07979538 378 to find out more

Go to my website www.deborahtalalayhealing.com. I have given a an explanation on Theta Healing and how it works.

If you click on the page – What clients have said – you will see how they have overcome their nerves and how their confidence has grown

Fear of Public Speaking – and what can be done about it

They say that most people would endure any ordeal rather than speak in public. Even some of our most celebrated actors are reduced to a quivering fearful jelly before each performance.

Many of us have experienced the symptoms:

  • A dry mouth,
  • breaking out into a sweat,
  • stomach upset,
  • nausea and vomiting,
  • sleepless night,
  • unable to eat,
  • forgetting what we were about to say,
  • convinced that what we need to say is incredibly dull and that no-one wants to listen to us – so we cut out a lot of the information we were about to give.

Then we stand there in front of our audience or interviewer and give the wooden performance of our lives. Our body language is stiff and shows our fear. The audience is embarrassed and becomes anxious and we wish the floor would open up and swallow us whole.

Though that is an extreme example – many of us will have experienced some of these symptoms.

Most of us don’t need to put ourselves into that position and can avoid public speaking. But there are many who have to speak in public, and generally be in the public eye as part of their job…

One of my clients – an analyst in the City – had to conduct seminars, give expert opinion on Radio and TV and inform the press. He was brilliant at being an analyst but everything else caused constant fear and anxiety. He had been in his career for a number of years and instead of becoming used to being in public – it was getting worse. He knew what a poor show he put on and that what he had to say sounded dull and boring. This began to affect his dealings with his colleagues. …….and so it went on.

In over 20 years as a homeopath and later as an NLP Master Practitioner and Theta Healer – I have seen many people with stage fright , exam nerves and a terror of appearing in public.

There are several ways of tackling this.

Tranquilisers and sleeping pills help up to a point – but you lose your edge and they can make you drowsy. Besides – it is much better to not have to rely on drugs if you can help it.

Homeopathic remedies can greatly reduce stage fright and the anxiety felt on the days leading up to an event. Over a period of time they can also deal with the lack of confidence that makes people so frightened of appearing in public. They have the advantage of being gentle and safe for all ages, and they are not addictive.

But to my mind the greatest success comes when the cause of the fear is discovered and dealt with. This is where Theta healing or NLP come in. I have found that my clients have responded extremely well to Theta. That panic and dread have been replaced by confidence, motivation, and yes – even a sense of enjoyment. And the transformation has lasted without having to top up on drugs and pills.

The Analyst was treated with Theta Healing and homeopathic remedies. He has turned his performance around and has recently been head hunted for a significantly better job.

If you’d like to know more about Homeopathy and Theta Healing– please go to my website www.deborahtalalayhealing.com