I Hate How I Look

Dysmorphia – a mental disorder characterized by distorted body image and obsessions about perceived physical shortcomings

“I feel so gross – I can’t stand how I look” said a very pretty woman.

She was carrying a lot of weight around her hips and backside – but was still very attractive.

But she didn’t see it like that.  Her prettiness meant nothing to her. She couldn’t believe it that men found her attractive. She thought they just pitied her!

Any attempt to get her to take a fresh look at herself was met with scorn and was rejected.

“In some cultures men prefer women with a big bottom” said I.

But no – I was just trying to make her feel better – and this is how it is, and her only option was to hide her bottom and herself.

What a waste! So much energy and emotion devoted to hating herself.

It would be easy to lose patience, to class her as self obsessed and let her get on with it. But that would be to dismiss the great many people who are so deeply ashamed of some part of their body or the shape of their body, that they come to reject themselves. It is a real and widespread problem and has ruined many lives, not only of the sufferers but also of their families and friends.

The body part they hate becomes the reason for all the things that don’t happen and have gone wrong in their lives. Usually – it’s held responsible for lack of confidence and lack of confidence is held responsible for most of life’s ills – failing to have a partner, never getting promoted at work,

It is useless to try to cajole or tease a person out of it. Unless that person changes how they perceive their body – nothing you say will make any difference at all. They don’t see their body as you see it. To them – their reality is like standing in front of a distorting fairground mirror. That is how they look to themselves. They’re surprised you can’t see it as they do and think that maybe you can but are too polite to tell them how they really look.

If the problem is because a woman – and it’s usually a woman – thinks she’s overweight, it can become so severe that it results in an eating disorder – bulimia (induced vomiting) maybe followed by anorexia.  I have known anorexics who were quite convinced they were grossly overweight even though they were so thin their bones stood out under the skin.

How do people get like this?

It doesn’t help that the fashion industry seems to be mainly aimed at dressing stick insects. The ultra thin shape has become the desired shape for us ordinary mortals – and unless we restrict our diets to two lettuce leaves and 40 cigarettes a day – we are bound to fail.

It doesn’t matter to the fashion industry that to be that thin you have probably deprived your body of the nutrients needed to function as a woman, that you feel faint most of the time, that you have stopped menstruating and that you are unable to conceive. Though of course if you were to conceive – it would mean putting on weight and becoming larger – so maybe that’s not a problem after all.

So we try to look like these fashion models, and when we can’t we feel like failures and start to hate ourselves for not being able to achieve the desired goal. Next thing you know you’re binge eating then vomiting.

The problem may not be weight but your dislike of a body part – such as a large nose. If you have been passed over or rejected it is easy to feel unwanted and to blame this on your big nose and the embarrassment it causes you, plus your loss of self worth because you feel so unusual and so ugly.

In reality – the ugliest people are often really successful because they have decided that they must make themselves really good at something so that their ugliness doesn’t matter. Often they are the most charming and the most fun to be with.

We have been given so many gifts and attributes which we ignore because we don’t have the thing we want. It’s like a child stamping her foot and saying if she can’t have an ice cream then she doesn’t want her dinner.

Many people decide that surgery is their only answer. And yes – surgery can help to restore your confidence – because you now look like everyone else.

But this isn’t the deep down confidence of a person being happy in their own skin.

This kind of confidence only comes by accepting who you are.

It is much easier than one would think to learn how to accept and be happy with oneself. Theta Healing can achieve this easily and effectively.

If you are considering surgery – please make sure that you also learn how to feel happy in yourself so that your transformation can be more than just skin deep.

If you would like to learn more about Theta Healing and how it can help you feel good about yourself:-

Call me on: 07979538378

Email me at: debbie.talalay@gmail.com

Or go to my website to find out how Theta Healing and Homeopathy could help you. www.deborahtalalayhealing.com

Allergies and Sensitivities

In my last article I talked about the allergies and sensitivities so many of us have, and how we are beginning to see more and more people suffering with reactions to various foods.

Allergy is an overused word. I found a definition of allergy which says:

“Properly defined, allergy is the condition which results from the introduction    into the body of certain substances, usually proteins, which cause a disease complex called allergy”

What most people are suffering with is hypersensitivity.

It used to be that if anyone had an allergy it would be to pollen and they – poor souls – would sneeze and weep and scratch their way through the summer suffering with Hay Fever.

You would almost never hear of people with food allergies and intolerances. People were happy to eat pretty well everything that was put in front of them – with the exception of school dinners. And even though they might prefer one food to another – no-one talked about becoming ill from what they ate.

Of course some of this was because allergy went largely undiagnosed – so people suffered without knowing the cause of their suffering.

But lack of diagnosis does not account for the huge increase of people who respond badly to various foods.  My belief is that over the years our immune systems have become severely compromised.

This is partly because our immune systems are being challenged on a daily basis by the chemicals we use to spray our crops. These chemicals are invaluable in ensuring that pests do not destroy the crops – but were never intended to be taken internally.

We are also choosing to eat foods which are harmful to us in such great quantities that they undermine our whole metabolic process.

During the Second World War, processed foods, sugars and fats were rationed, and people were forced to rely on basic but nutritious foods. Health improved in the UK quite dramatically.

Nowadays our food contains:

  • Pesticides
  • Colourings
  • Other E numbers and additives – which are used as preservatives for longer shelf life.
  • Hormones – used to promote growth in the animal
  • Water injected into the meat to produce greater weight

Our food does not contain the vitamins, minerals and trace elements needed for our maintenance

  • because the soil is barren and over farmed
  • because the food has been processed and the nutrients lost (though sometimes the Vits/ Mins are added back in)
  • the nutrients have been killed by overcooking

It is astonishing that in this country of plenty, so many of us should be suffering from nutrient deficiency.

Nutrient deficiency upsets the whole metabolic process, and then it becomes more difficult to convert the complex substances into simple ones for the use of the body, which uses them to build complex tissues. Foods are not broken down properly in the gut and when the body tries to use them, they cannot be absorbed properly and often have a harmful effect.

The body builds up a resistance to these improperly digested foods and so begins intolerance and then allergy.

A huge industry has built up around allergies.

We are now able to buy foods free from

  • Wheat
  • Gluten
  • Dairy
  • Eggs
  • Nuts

The list goes on.

And while this is important and necessary to the people who suffer with allergies it is worrying that there are enough people who suffer from food intolerance to have created this industry.

Food reactions can affect us in so many ways.

We are familiar with the blocked nose, the constantly runny nose, the streaming eyes, blocked sinuses, permanent catarrh and headaches.

Allergies can also affect the skin, producing spots, rashes and raised wheals

The skin can become hard and dry, the heels cracked.

Allergies can affect breathing and provoke asthma attacks.

People are unable to sleep properly and often their energy is affected. They will become sleepy if they eat something which disagrees. Alternatively, you can see children responding to the colourings and additives in food by becoming wild and hyperactive.

The digestive system will usually react with;

Nausea and vomiting, diarrhoea or constipation.

Bloating, wind and heartburn.

Weight gain – or the inability to thrive and to put on weight.

The most under acknowledged reactions caused by allergies are in the mental and emotional spheres.

The inability to concentrate or think coherently

The change in personality – often making people rude and aggressive.

I remember listening to a talk by a lady who had been in charge of an institute for young offenders. She realised that a lot of these kids were having an extreme reaction to the junk food they were eating. She started to change the food served in this institution. At first – these teenagers were furious that they were no longer allowed the food that they usually ate.  But as they gradually calmed down they realised how different they felt. Eventually – they were entrusted to go on

supervised shopping trips to buy additive free food.  They took an active interest in their shopping expeditions and in their own mental and physical health.

Usually, the numbers of offenders who re-offend after release and get locked up again is very high.  But with these children the number was extremely low.

It made me wonder how many of society’s ills could be attributed to reaction to what we eat.

Take Care of Your Immune System

Modern medicine has eradicated many of the diseases which used to be commonplace,

Anti-biotics and other miracle drugs will usually see off infections and illnesses which would have killed large numbers of people before the discovery of these medicines.

The availability and storage of food has made an enormous difference not only to our life expectancy but also to our height and size. Have you noticed when looking at portraits of the nobility through the centuries how much taller they are than the working classes. The abundance of food, its quality and the ability to store it so that it retains its nutrients and does not deteriorate makes a real difference to your ability to grow.

Clean water and sanitation also play their part.

The graphs show that 6000 deaths per 1 million children from scarlet fever, diphtheria, whooping cough and measles around 1850 had declined to 800 by 1940 – a 90% decline.

It was not until 1950 that the introduction of anti biotics and the compulsory immunisation against diphtheria was introduced. This was followed by immunisations against other diseases and by 1965 deaths from these diseases were reduced to just a handful.

But the achievement of reducing deaths by 90% for these potentially deadly diseases mostly rests with the clean water and sanitation programs which were established before mass immunisation.

So – the question I ask myself is – why with the benefit of all these medicines, with a better diet, with clean water and excellent sanitation – why do we have a population with so many chronic illnesses and who are so dependent on taking large quantities of medicine on a daily basis?

What are we doing to ourselves to cause this level of unwellness?

Maybe I’m wrong – but I believe that the number of people with asthma and eczema – the children going to school with a puffer in their pocket – has risen dramatically.

We’re used to hearing people say they’re allergic to this and that.

Why are there so many people with Hay Fever? And why – given that we have central heating and can keep warm – do we have so many children running around with constant colds and perpetually dripping noses?

40 years ago my cousin, who was taken to specialist after specialist to find out what was wrong with her was finally diagnosed with autism. She had to be taken to the USA to receive this diagnosis because no one in the UK had ever heard of it. Nowadays, autism and its lesser brother Asperger’s Syndrome is common place.

In the old days, the diseases either killed you or you survived.

Sometimes you survived with the consequences of the disease – perhaps a shortened limb – if you’d had polio or a pockmarked skin from smallpox.

But though we may live longer than our grandfathers and great grandfathers, and though we may survive the illnesses which used to kill or maim us, we seem to have lost the robustness and the strength and stamina of previous generations.

The system which has deteriorated is the Immune System.

Our immune systems are subjected to a constant barrage of stressors.

The air that we breathe carries pollutants from road traffic. If we live under a flight path there will be pollutants from the airplanes and a higher incidence of asthma.

The water we drink is cleaned but carries the hormones excreted by women on HRT and the pill.

Water also has chlorine and fluoride added to it – and despite their positive effects there is a large downside to constantly taking in these chemicals. So if we wish to avoid chlorine and fluoride we purify our water. But most of the water filters extract the minerals from the water so you end up with a deficiency in minerals. This in itself is responsible for a decline in the immune system resulting eventually in disease.

Our food, which is plentiful in this country, is grown in soil depleted of its mineral content. The 5 fruit or veg a day regime which is meant to keep us healthy is sadly outdated – again resulting in vitamin and mineral deficiency. Our crops are heavily sprayed with pesticides which our bodies are not designed to deal with – another big stressor to the immune system. Organically grown food is a better alternative – especially for the root vegetables as the roots store the pesticides.

This is a very big subject and this is not the place to do an in depth article.

But here are some of the things you can do to strengthen your immune system.

  • Take a good quality supplement. I take a brand which has all the vitamins and minerals including the trace minerals. The body uses what it needs and excretes the surplus. Find a good brand which is easily absorbed by the body. Some brands are not as good as others, so go to an independent health food store where they stock the better brands and they will be able to advise you. Make sure this supplement contains enough Zinc. You should be getting 15mgs a day including what is in your food – 20mgs per day if you are pregnant or nursing.
  • Ensure you are having enough Essential Fatty Acids. These are the Omega 3’s and 6’s. You need both together to metabolise properly. The 6’s can become depleted if just taking the 3’s.  You can buy the EFA’s in oil and capsule form. If taking capsules – ensure you are getting enough.
  • Drink good quality water. Make sure you get enough of it – around 2 litres per day. If you are thirsty it means that you are already de-hydrated. Some of your water may come in the form of watery vegetables – e.g. cucumbers. But even if you are not thirsty – just get into the habit of drinking water. It is the carrier for getting the nutrients and oxygen around the body. Without enough water – you become physically and mentally sluggish
  • Don’t eat too much. See how much more energy you have if you haven’t overloaded.
  • Try to keep junk food to a minimum. You will be surprised how much better you’ll feel.
  • Exercise. We as a nation have become physically lazy. We don’t even have to get up to change the channel on the TV. It’s no wonder we do not have the strength and stamina of previous generations. Exercise is needed to massage the organs so they can function well and helps the flow of blood through the system. It is needed to keep the metabolism working well. It also helps the body to produce its own anti depressants.

If you give your body what it needs to maintain itself it will reward you with a stronger immune system and with better health.

Exam Phobia

There is a very different scenario to the teenager who won’t try. It’s the girl/boy who works well throughout the year – but when it comes to sitting down to take an exam fails himself miserably.

The coursework proves that the student has understood the subject and can discuss it with intelligence and insight.  And then you have the exam, in which the same student is completely incapable of summoning up any of the facts or of making any sort of argument or coherent discussion.

This phobia is very similar to fear of public speaking.

There is a feeling of such physical terror that the mind goes blank, the mouth becomes dry, a vacuum opens up between your ears, and you become incapable of recognising anything other than the dread in your heart and the terrible fear that accompanies it. Well learned facts and figures fly out of your mind. You can’t remember anyone’s name – let alone their dates.  You know you have failed yet again. The despair is overwhelming.

If you have exam phobia you will know that this creates all sorts of problems in other areas.

You don’t feel well – and often have nausea, stomach cramps and perhaps diarrhoea.

The expectation of performing badly means there is not much point in revising.

The dread of the approaching exam interferes with sleep – so you can spend a long time worrying and have difficulty getting to sleep. Then when you do – you have nightmares.

Your energy drains away and you feel too tired to revise.

Your confidence hits rock bottom.

The whole thing is a blight on your life.

If it’s your child going through this – you watch and wish you could do something more to help.  Is extra tuition the answer? Would a no – nonsense approach get better results? Should you put the child into a less academic environment?

You watch your child torture himself and you feel angry and impotent.

What is going to happen to the child who may be bright and have academic potential but who cannot compete in the race?

What sort of a life can this child expect?

Is he condemned to work at a level far less than his capabilities?

Luckily there are answers.

There are excellent homeopathic remedies which target this phobia.

Go to an experienced homeopath and they will find the remedy that most closely corresponds to the symptoms. Homeopathic remedies are safe and effective. You will not become addicted and your personality won’t be masked by them.

Go to a Theta Healer to find out why this phobia exists.

I have found that it is usually for the same reasons that are responsible for most of our negative and self limiting thinking.

A belief that:
• I’m not clever enough
• I’m not good enough
• I am unacceptable
• I’m a failure

And so the list goes on.

You may say that yours or your child’s situation is not as bad as has been described and that all this sounds very heavy duty. Of course – I have given the worst case scenario and there are many different levels of experience.

But the responsibility for all these levels of experience lies with the same beliefs – though maybe not as strongly felt.

Of course – most of us do not go around saying that we aren’t good enough, and we don’t think of ourselves as failures.  But in the back of the mind there is a little voice which tells us exactly that. We do our best to squash it – but somehow the negativity seeps through and saps our confidence. We start to develope fear of doing whatever we think may challenge us.  We only see the fear – because we have hidden what lies under and what is now concealed by the fear. The underlying beliefs are responsible for our phobias – the fear is only the symptom.

Think of the brain as a computer hosting many programmes.  Mostly the capacity of this amazing machine is used up by our negative programming – leaving less room for the positive programme circuits.

When you eradicate that negative voice in your head, the fear goes with it, and leaves room on your circuits for the positive thoughts to enter and for confidence and positivity to start influencing your life.

I have a more detailed explanation of how Homeopathic treatment and Theta healing can help on my web site:

www.health4life-online.com

If you would like help for yourself/ a friend or family member/ or would like to find out more, I can be contacted on : 07979538378

Exam Revision: – Does Facebook feature more prominently than text books?

Exams are looming.

How does your teenager deal with them?

Is revision put off till the last possible moment until fear and panic set in?

Does Facebook feature more prominently than textbooks?

Or does she feel she can’t possibly revise the entire syllabus – doesn’t know where to start – so doesn’t do anything?

Or like one boy I treated – who was so terrified of sitting the exams he couldn’t bring himself to think about it – and that included revision.

Has procrastination becomes a way of life?

One parent told me of the sinking feeling of despair she had when she saw her clever but unmotivated son divide his time between yet another computer game and the TV. She told me how angry and upset she was that she was paying for a first class education so he could get a start in life – and how let down she felt that he was damaging his future by throwing away his opportunities and his potential, and that he hadn’t valued or recognised the effort his parents were making to send him to his school.

In these very common scenarios no amount of cajoling or bribery make any difference and guilt trips only succeed in making them even more stubborn.

It can look like laziness, but in my experience there is no such thing as a lazy child.

What I have seen are children whose attitude and performance are clouded by negative beliefs and low expectations of themselves. There are many who believe that they are not as clever as parents or brothers and sisters – they believe they will never live up to their family’s expectations of them and can’t possibly compete with the family track record. So they decide that they won’t put anything into it, and that will mean that they haven’t failed because they didn’t even try. You can’t fail if you don’t compete in the first place.

Belief: “I am not good enough”  lies beneath low expectations and poor performance.

What we are looking at is avoidance rather than laziness:

• Avoidance of failure and humiliation if they try and then fail, or if they try and the results are just mediocre.
• Avoidance of the disappointment of parents and themselves if they decide to try and then perform badly.
• Avoidance of the confirmation that they are not good enough.

Failure and fear of failure are responsible for a lot of negative attitude.

 

• Avoidance of being thought of as a nerd or a boffin. This one has a lot to do with the school and if it’s judged to be uncool if you’re clever.

You could lose your social status, which would be infinitely worse than failing a few exams.

The fear of being seen as too clever can make a teenager underperform

Then there’s the inability to concentrate – sometimes classified as ADHD. If your teenager comes into this category, there is plenty that can be done to not only help, but to transform the situation. Homeopathic remedies and Theta Healing are both powerful tools.

Ritalin is often prescribed by the medical profession. I personally, do not believe that Ritalin is the answer or even a temporary solution. It does not cure the underlying causes and you end up with a child living under a permanent drug regime.

I have treated teenagers for all these beliefs and problems.  Some of them have been very alienated, and in these cases it has taken them longer to get them back on track. But it can be done.

It’s not the studying that’s the problem – it’s the beliefs surrounding the studying.

These can be changed.

The fastest and most effective method I have found is Theta Healing.

On my website www.deborahtalalayhealing.com. I have an explanation on Theta Healing and how it works. If you click on the page – What clients have said – you will see a message from a mother whose daughter began doing much better in her exams and with her revision after Theta Healing.

If you would like to find out more, please contact me on:  07979538 378

Addictions Drugs and Alcohol

Of course – addictions are not just confined to food.

I’m an ex smoker and though I haven’t had a cigarette in 30 years, I know that if I just have one or two – that’ll be it and I’ll be back to smoking like a trooper.

Even now – after all these years – I sometimes dream that I’m smoking. I think – “Didn’t you give up?” But it makes no difference and there I am inhaling away in my dreams – feeling a bit guilty but managing to ignore it, and as though 30 years as a non smoker had never happened.

Once an addict – always an addict.
Alcoholics Anonymous recognise this and everyone there introduces themselves as an alcoholic even if they haven’t touched a drop in years.

Addiction to drugs and alcohol can be for a variety of reasons.

• You may have been born to a mother who was drinking heavily or who was taking drugs while pregnant, which gave the growing baby a predisposition or an addiction to those substances.
• You come from a family or social group that uses drugs and alcohol and so what starts out as a way to be part of a social group becomes a dependency.
• You’ve had to take drugs to control illness and pain and have become reliant on them and then when you no longer need the drugs realise you’ve become addicted.
• You have been using drugs and alcohol as a means of finding confidence and feel you can only be amusing and good company when you’re high. Then you find out that you have to keep taking more just to be on an even keel, and that you now have a dependency.
• You’ve been using drugs and alcohol as an emotional anaesthetic, so that you don’t have to think of whatever may be troubling you – and you have become dependent.
• You’re looking for a way to escape yourself

Addiction can be thought of as having two interacting parts.

• The effect the substances have on the body
– the deterioration of the thinking processes and the nervous system
– the craving that an addiction sets up.
• The wish to escape the realities of your life
– The disappointments
– The failed relationships
– The circumstances you believe you cannot influence and so have a feeling of impotence.

I believe that when working with someone to overcome their addiction both the emotional reasons for that addiction and the intense physical craving have to be looked at simultaneously.

• The body needs to be helped to clear itself of any residue of the substance.
• The body and mind need help to repair themselves after what may have been years of mistreatment.
• The person needs to be supported through the feelings of guilt and remorse for their actions and for what they have become.
• The emotions which that person was unable to face and tried to mask with drugs and alcohol must be worked through

Theta Healing has helped people I have worked with transform their feelings about themselves and has produced rapid and effective change. Homoeopathic remedies have been invaluable in helping the body to repair itself.

If you would like help with an addiction

Please call me on – 07979538 378 to find out more

Go to my website www.deborahtalalayhealing.com. I have given an explanation on Theta Healing and how it works.

If you click on the page – What clients have said – you will see how they have overcome some of the self doubts and negativity which lie beneath addiction.

Chocolate is the answer – the question is pretty much irrelevant

I sometimes wonder why it is that you never hear about addiction to broccoli or spinach? Do you crave cabbage or curly kale or something that might do you some good?

We might like them a lot – but we don’t have to have them in large quantities and we can usually stop eating after a reasonable portion without craving more.

Cravings and addictions are usually for junk food – sugar and fats and of course – chocolate. The comfort foods.

Remember back to when you were a small child. Were you given chocolate or sweets to make it better? Or an ice cream as a reward for being a good girl/boy or for not making a fuss – or for getting over a disappointment?

So its not much of a surprise when we automatically turn to these foods when we want to reward ourselves or need to make ourselves feel better.

What if there’s been lots of disappointments which are too painful to acknowledge? And what if we pacify ourselves with the reward we like best every time we feel bad? Then feeling better is associated with these rewards and gradually you can only feel better if you have a chocolate bar or an ice cream and nothing else will give you the same feeling.

These foods are never great for our bodies at the best of times and if you eat them regularly and in quantity they will eventually have an effect on the body’s metabolism and digestive system.

What we crave can also be as a result of a food sensitivity. When I find that a client has a weak immune system I look for foods which they love. I often find that these foods are the very thing that they are sensitive to and that the body doesn’t know what to do with, and so will set up a craving. If that is the sole reason for the addiction and you stop eating that food – the craving very quickly goes with it.

Eating sweets, chocolates and sugary foods is responsible for a lot of poor health. The way our bodies deal with sugar is finely balanced. When the system is overloaded the pancreas begins to function less well, insulin production fluctuates and you can eventually end up with diabetes. While the body struggles with the overload we don’t feel good. This has an effect on the emotions – we don’t feel wonderful when the body isn’t working well. So what happens? We have some more chocolate or cake to make these feelings go away.

Then there’s the terrible guilt for being weak willed – for having finished an entire box of chocolates on one’s own, or like Bridget Jones – a huge tub of ice cream in front of the television.

How to make the guilty feelings go away? By having another chocolate bar of course!

There’s a combination of triggers that support food addictions.

• The body trying to adjust itself to the overload sends out alarm signals which might make you eat more sugar.
• The subconscious search for something to relieve anxiety and emotional pain.
• The habit of eating certain foods at certain times and in certain situations

We have learned that the most effective way to relieve distress is by having something in our mouth. Since birth – unless we’ve been fed to a strict time schedule – the moment we started screaming we were given the breast, a bottle or a pacifier. This usually stopped the screaming and its also where we began to understand that if we put something in our mouths we felt better.

Trying to break a food addiction is not easy. The person with an addiction feels powerless. The addiction rules them and they are its slave.

Its not just the food which has become an addiction – its also the habit which needs to be broken, and all the underlying emotions that go with it need to be looked at. To successfully overcome an addiction all these things have to be understood and addressed.

I have found through my work with Theta Healing and NLP that all these issues can be dealt with, and that the addiction when it is no longer anchored in the emotions and by habit can be effectively resolved.

If you would like help with an addiction

Please call me on – 07979538 378 to find out more

Go to my website www.deborahtalalayhealing.com. I have given an explanation on Theta Healing and how it works.

If you click on the page – What clients have said – you will see how they have overcome some of the anxieties which lie beneath addiction.

Fear of Public Speaking – some hints to improve your performance and some underlying causes

For those of us  who do not belong in a corporate background and who are not at home with preparing  power point presentations, but are still expected to get up in front of an audience and deliver a speech – public speaking can be very daunting.

So here’s a few confidence boosters and also a quick look at why we become so anxious.

  • Be prepared. Its not a good idea to hope that inspiration comes to you on the day. Neither is it realistic to expect to remember the facts and figures when you are nervous.. If you expect to be nervous – you will probably forget everything or get it wrong. Having the facts and figures in front of you is a good confidence booster.
  • Is what you have to say well written and interesting? Because if it isn’t start there and rewrite so you know you have a coherent  presentation to deliver.
  • Your audience generally wishes you well, so expect them to welcome and be open to what you have to say.
  • They  will want to be entertained as well as informed, so one or two light hearted anecdotes usually helps everyone to relax.
  • Wear smart clothes and make sure that they are not too tight and that you can breathe properly. Ladies – don’t wear your killer heels – you’ll probably regret it.
  • Always stand when addressing your audience and answering their questions. I’m amazed at how often people forget to do this. Its very annoying to not be able to see the speaker.
  • Be inclusive of the entire audience. Walk about on the stage even if you do have a podium. It allows you to communicate more easily with different parts of the room.  Ensure you make eye contact and include the people in every part of the room – otherwise part of your audience might feel rejected.

Still terrified?

Have you prepared  your material really well, rehearsed  it  – learned some of it – and yet are still terrified at the idea of standing alone in public?

Why?

If the material you have to put over is relevant and interesting, what makes you seize up? What stops you communicating in a relaxed and friendly manner?

Some of the reasons why.

Fear of speaking in public is as widespread as it is because of the underlying fears which are a common element of the human condition.

This is a fear of being criticised, judged and ultimately found wanting.

And under that is the fear that perhaps you are not quite good enough and that this will be discovered and highlighted  if you are in the spotlight.

To effectively overcome these fears it is important to work on how you feel about yourself. Do you like and respect yourself? Do you expect others to like and respect you – or do you expect them to pick holes in you, reject your views and in general become hostile. Above all – are you at ease with yourself?

Its no wonder so many actors are scared to death.  They used to be pelted with rotten tomatoes if the audience didn’t like them. Even without the tomatoes – to be at the receiving end of a bored, hostile or alienated audience feels terrible.

The people who are the most successful in engaging their audience are at ease with themselves. They don’t have to deliver the wittiest or the most intellectually challenging speech. But they do have to be at ease with themselves.

To be at ease is not as difficult as it sounds.

There are many homeopathic remedies which help with the nerves and also with self confidence.

I have had excellent results using Theta Healing. This has enabled  people to eliminate the negativity they have about themselves very easily and effectively. When the negativity is released then there is a feeling of greater  self worth and with that comes ease.

If you would like to become one of the minority who are comfortable and at ease with themselves.

Please call me on  – 07979538 378 to find out more

Go to my website www.deborahtalalayhealing.com. I have given a an explanation on Theta Healing and how it works.

If you click on the page – What clients have said – you will see how they have overcome their nerves and how their confidence has grown

Fear of Public Speaking – and what can be done about it

They say that most people would endure any ordeal rather than speak in public. Even some of our most celebrated actors are reduced to a quivering fearful jelly before each performance.

Many of us have experienced the symptoms:

  • A dry mouth,
  • breaking out into a sweat,
  • stomach upset,
  • nausea and vomiting,
  • sleepless night,
  • unable to eat,
  • forgetting what we were about to say,
  • convinced that what we need to say is incredibly dull and that no-one wants to listen to us – so we cut out a lot of the information we were about to give.

Then we stand there in front of our audience or interviewer and give the wooden performance of our lives. Our body language is stiff and shows our fear. The audience is embarrassed and becomes anxious and we wish the floor would open up and swallow us whole.

Though that is an extreme example – many of us will have experienced some of these symptoms.

Most of us don’t need to put ourselves into that position and can avoid public speaking. But there are many who have to speak in public, and generally be in the public eye as part of their job…

One of my clients – an analyst in the City – had to conduct seminars, give expert opinion on Radio and TV and inform the press. He was brilliant at being an analyst but everything else caused constant fear and anxiety. He had been in his career for a number of years and instead of becoming used to being in public – it was getting worse. He knew what a poor show he put on and that what he had to say sounded dull and boring. This began to affect his dealings with his colleagues. …….and so it went on.

In over 20 years as a homeopath and later as an NLP Master Practitioner and Theta Healer – I have seen many people with stage fright , exam nerves and a terror of appearing in public.

There are several ways of tackling this.

Tranquilisers and sleeping pills help up to a point – but you lose your edge and they can make you drowsy. Besides – it is much better to not have to rely on drugs if you can help it.

Homeopathic remedies can greatly reduce stage fright and the anxiety felt on the days leading up to an event. Over a period of time they can also deal with the lack of confidence that makes people so frightened of appearing in public. They have the advantage of being gentle and safe for all ages, and they are not addictive.

But to my mind the greatest success comes when the cause of the fear is discovered and dealt with. This is where Theta healing or NLP come in. I have found that my clients have responded extremely well to Theta. That panic and dread have been replaced by confidence, motivation, and yes – even a sense of enjoyment. And the transformation has lasted without having to top up on drugs and pills.

The Analyst was treated with Theta Healing and homeopathic remedies. He has turned his performance around and has recently been head hunted for a significantly better job.

If you’d like to know more about Homeopathy and Theta Healing– please go to my website www.deborahtalalayhealing.com