“I am so stressed and there’s nothing I can do to slow down because so many people are dependent on me.”
Life has become so fast. We expect to do things and have things done for us instantly, if not yesterday. Any delay sends us into a rage. If there is a wait behind a car which is a bit slow off the mark at a traffic light, the horns start blasting away. We have so much packed into each day, that unless everything goes perfectly – which it rarely does – we are unable to fulfil the commitments we have made. We arrive late and flustered – and we have no reserves to deal with the many little unexpected happenings that each day brings.
We’re proud of being able to multitask, and we end up by giving only a tiny part of our attention to whatever we’re doing. A parent pushing a stroller with a young child in it and with a phone clamped to her ear is a familiar sight. The child is ignored or pacified with a dummy or food if it wants attention.
We end up doing a lot – but we lose the ability to be, to communicate and relate to each other.
This is having life by the throat – so there is no room to breathe or to relax. Do it for long enough and everything becomes a burden – something to be done or to get through and it breeds irritability and ANXIETY.
- I won’t be able to achieve all I’ve set out to do.
- That I’ll let people down and that they will be angry or annoyed with me.
- That people will think less of me
- That I will let myself down
- That I’ll deprive my children and family in some way.
- That I am not as competent as my friends and acquaintances.
Women are usually the ones running around trying to do what is needed for the family and holding down a job at the same time. The media have promoted the idea of the modern super woman who can grow her own vegetables, bottle and preserve them, make cakes and jam and all before setting out for her day in the executive boardroom.
Even if we like living like that – we can only keep it up for so long before the cracks begin to appear.
The price we pay is in our relationships – both with ourselves and with others.
We have completely failed to nourish ourselves and all we have is a sense of achievement for having done so much.
Nourishing ourselves can happen in different ways and they are all important.
We can start by giving ourselves the time to be with ourselves and with our thoughts. We need the time for the mind to be free of duty and responsibility so that it can float free and come up with ideas or so it can resolve a problem which has been lurking in the background. We are not machines even if we treat ourselves like one. We need the time to renew our energy and to clear ourselves from our recent experiences. If we don’t do this we create a backlog for the subconscious mind to deal with when we have the time. So it keeps prompting us to remember this thing and that problem which we have stored until we can sort them out. These constant reminders become anxiety.
Human beings all need to connect. Connection is what gives our lives meaning. What passes for connection is often at the surface as we don’t have the time for the connection to develop and for the energy of that connection to flow. We need to give ourselves the time and space to listen to ourselves and connect with our unconscious mind and to let that take us where it will. What we actually do is to stop any communication with ourselves by living in a constant whirlwind of activity and with a constant background of noise.
We have become estranged from ourselves and disconnected from others.
Anxiety is our warning signal that we are not getting it right and that we need to re-evaluate what we want from our lives and how to go about it. Our anxiety is, in general, not about the circumstances of our lives. Even when these are difficult – if we feel centred and balanced we can deal with difficult circumstances and take them in our stride.
My belief is that our anxiety is because we won’t take the time to be with ourselves and with others and because we are denying ourselves the fundamental nutrition of connection.
If you would like help in reconnecting with yourself and with others, you may find that Theta Healing will help:
Please call me on – 07979538 378 to find out more.
Go to my website www.deborahtalalayhealing.com. I have given an explanation on Theta Healing and how it works.